Let Me Sign
by valjanex
Summary: AU. Bella is the new girl in Forks, fresh out of treatment center. What happens when she starts to get involved with her counselor's adopted kids? All Canon Pairings.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters.

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**_1_**

I kept my eyes glued onto the floor for the majority of our last meeting. Really, I didn't see why they couldn't just let me wait in my room until they were done discussing my 'condition', but Dr. Cullen "strongly encouraged" me to come to this one, even though my appearance in the room would barely be acknowledged. They talked about me as if I weren't even here. But it wasn't like I had anything to add, really. I mean, yeah, it was ridiculous that even after I completed my ordered seven-month treatment and even after I've apparently 'improved' so much that they were still putting me on watch, but I had absolutely no say in the matter. I was better, but not all the way better, not enough to wear they trusted me to be alone with sharp objects again.

I entered the treatment center February of last year, after a really bad string of mental breakdowns and anxiety attacks. I was a complete, utter mess. Somebody would do something stupid, something harmless - like bump into me in the halls by accident - and I would convince myself that it was on purpose and that they hated me and I would promptly burst into tears. And that was the light stuff. There would be many sleepless nights of tossing and turning, and on the rare nights where sleep accompanied me, it would still be with the lights and TV on. No matter what I did, I was convinced that there was somebody waiting to attack me. We went through a lot of counselors and a lot of medicines - among other things - before my mom, Renee, shipped me to the treatment center in Forks (which was held in the mental ward in the one hospital the tiny town had). Not to the fancy treatment center in Phoenix, where my mother and I lived, mind you, but the one in Forks, Washington - where my estranged biological dad, Charlie, lived. Everyone agreed that a change of scenery might help me 'recover.' As if one hundred percent recovery would ever be possible for me.

Finally, I hear Dr. Cullen say, "Well, Bella, I guess we're ready to rock and roll. Bella, you and I will continue to meet regularly, once a week. Are Wednesdays still good for you, Bella?" I nod silently, offering him a small smile beneath my curtain of hair which - during the duration of the meeting - I had hidden my face in, as if I was embarrassed or something. And I guess I was. Embarrassed, I mean. Not of the stuff Dr. Cullen was telling Charlie, exactly, but the fact that this was really _me_. This was me they were talking about. Me, Bella Swan, the quiet girl that all the teachers always adored, had somehow ended up here. No longer Bella The Nice Girl, but now Bella The Victim.

I once mentioned this to Dr. Cullen in one of our numerous Wednesday counseling sessions. That I didn't feel like the survivor everyone told me I was - that I felt like a victim. He gave me this sad look that made me feel really, _really _pathetic. I could all too well imagine him smothering me with sympathy in his thoughts, and I loathed it. I didn't want people to feel sorry for me. I didn't want people to remember it happened at all. I wanted people to forget it, to treat me like a normal girl and just _leave me alone_, but that was impossible. It did happen, and there was no - healthy - way to escape it. There had been a long stretch of silence before Dr. Cullen launched into a long lecture that ended up taking up the rest of our hour, talking about how it might 'take time for me to feel that way' and that it was something 'counseling couldn't make me feel' and I would have to 'find it within myself.' It sounds stupid, but I remember crying when he was done talking to me. It was the most fatherly gesture I'd ever received.

It was September now, still technically summer. I had finished my treatment just in time to start my junior year of high school with everyone else, and also to spend my seventeenth birthday at home. Dr. Cullen constantly asked how I felt about that, and my honest answer was I didn't really know how I felt about it. On one hand, I was eager to start going to an actual school again, start trying to actually live my life again. On the other hand, I was more scared than words could describe. I had grown used to the isolation, to there not being very many people around saying crude things. I was pretty sure the second someone made a crude remark I would burst and the cycle would start again. I actually sort of..._wanted _it too. Things were unpredictable out in the real world, and here things were safe. It was comforting to know what would happen next - or at least have a pretty good idea of what was going to happen.

Charlie turns to me and gives me one of his famous crinkle-eye smiles. "Okay, Bell, let's get this show on the road. You've got a long couple days ahead of you, what with school starting again and all."

I smile in return, but I can feel it not really reaching my eyes. The word school makes my stomach churn. School, where I'll be the freaky new girl who just got out of treatment center. I'm sure, come Monday, there will be obscene rumors flying around about my reasoning for being here, and they'll switch the word treatment center for rehab and make me sound like a crazed drug-addict or something. "Yeah, can't wait..." I whisper, not bothering to even attempt to sound enthusiastic for Charlie's sake.

Concern radiated from Dr. Cullen. "Charlie, if you don't mind, may I please have a word with Bella? Alone? It won't take too long."

"Sure," Charlie agreed, quickly side-stepping and reaching for the door handle a little too eagerly. I'd forgotten how uncomfortable he got when he had to attend one of these things with me. "I'll wait for you in the cruiser, okay Bella?"

I nod, eyeing Dr. Cullen curiously. I wait to hear the door click shut behind me before cautiously taking a seat on the couch across from Dr. Cullen's desk. "So, um..." I bite my lip, waiting for him to start the conversation.

"You nervous about school on Monday?"

"Yes," I groaned. "They probably think I'm a freak or something." I couldn't help but giggle at how..._normal_ I sounded. My eye caught on the photo on his desk and I could feel relief wash over me. "Don't your adopted kids go to Forks High, Dr. Cullen?"

Dr. Cullen seemed to catch my current train of thought and oddly, he stiffened. "Well, yes, they do. But they're not the most..." His voice trailed off and he looked honestly flustered.

"Friendly?" I prompted with a frown. I guess I could see it. I mean, they were rich, after all. I guess I just figure since they had such a caring, considerate dad like Dr. Cullen that they would be like little replicas of him, but not exactly considering they weren't, well, blood-related or anything.

"No, no, that's not it." He quickly disagreed. "They're all very polite, kind kids. They just...tend to keep to themselves. It's an adopted thing, I think."

Disappointment dripped in my tone. "Oh," I whispered, starting to get up. "I guess I understand. It just would've been nice to be able to kind of have a group of friends, you know?" To my horror, I could hear my voice crack. Oh God, I was not going to cry like a little baby over this, it was absolutely ridiculous.

"Hey," Dr. Cullen's comforting voice was suddenly in my ear as I stood up. "It's okay, I get it. Don't worry. I'm sure you'll find your group of friends soon enough, and if you don't, then they will probably start seeing me soon for some _obvious _mental issues. Who wouldn't want to be friends with a cool girl like you?"

I laughed gratefully at his attempts to comfort me. "Thank you, Dr. Cullen. Well...I better get going, Charlie's waiting for me."

"Right, I'll walk you out to make sure you get out there alright. You know, don't trip any unsuspecting dust bunnies or anything."

I scowled at him but could feel a smile tugging the edge of my lips. I glanced up and was suddenly shocked. "Whoa," I breathed, staring at him. "I never realized what color your eyes were before. They're, like, butterscotch."

I could see that something in my amazed statement made his worry but he quickly gave me a wide smile. "Butterscotch, huh? It's probably just the lighting."

I agreed with a dazed 'right.' But something in my gut was telling me there was something more to it about his eye color - and this whole thing with his adopted kids. I quickly filed it in my brain to check out later as I yelled a quick bye and went to meet Charlie.

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**A/N: **Why hello there lovelies. Haven't written for this fandom in a while, eh? I guess you could sort of consider this my comeback of sorts. Crappy comeback. But I just finished rereading the first Twilight book and watching the first Twilight movie and I wanted to write something. ANNND, I decided to try it with (drum roll) them as their actual vamp selves for once! So, what do you think? Like it, or think I should stick with AH?


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